A letter to my body: “I’m sorry!”
My body and I usually have a good relationship with each other. We care for each other. We cherish each other. We nourish each other. We love each other.That was not always the case. For many, many years, I would abuse my body in all kinds of ways. I would abuse my body with toxins, bad nutrition, and little to no movement. Mostly, however, I would abuse my body verbally. Oh, how cruel I was to her. I did not have a single kind word to say. She was never enough; not skinny enough; not toned enough; not tanned enough; not strong enough… Just to name a few, “not enough-s.”
Building a healthy, kind, and loving relationship with my precious body was a big part of building a healthy, kind, and loving relationship with myself. In fact, for me, it was probably the first step to truly showing myself the respect and care I deserve.
Lately, however, I keep catching myself being less kind to her again. I catch myself looking into the mirror with that “not enough” look in my eyes. I catch myself judging myself for having put on 2kgs. I catch myself getting annoyed on the days my yoga practice is not as strong as on others. I catch myself not embracing myself but hiding her away.
I don’t enjoy that. And she doesn’t deserve it.
She deserves to be loved. She deserves to be cherished.
She deserves to be respected. She deserves to be celebrated.
So, just like I did a few years back when I started to find my wild and freedom in it,
I sat down and wrote her a letter. A letter to tell her how amazing she is.
A letter to remind me how amazing she is.
“Dear body of mine. I AM SORRY!
I am sorry for criticising you so harshly for all these years. And for doing it now again.
I am sorry for feeling ashamed of you for decades. So much so that I would avoid being in a bikini in front of friends and family. I am sorry for starting to feel this way again.
I am sorry for not nourishing you before showing you in a bikini, so there is no hint of a bloat. I am sorry for nourishing you badly and without care. I am sorry for either undernourishing or, on other days, overfeeding you.
I am sorry for thinking you are not good enough. I am sorry for telling you you are not good enough.
Oh, my precious. You are SO MUCH MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH.
Dear body of mine. THANK YOU!
Thank you for all that you do for me.
Thank you for the two working legs that carry me through all my travels and life in general.
Thank you for giving me two arms with which I can hug my loved ones. Tightly.
Thank you for my hands that allow me to touch and feel.
Thank you for my lungs that allow me to breathe.
Thank you for my heart that keeps beating. All day. Every day.
Thank you for the blood flowing through my veins.
Thank you for working when I sleep.
Thank you for never taking a day off.
Dear body of mine, you are my most precious tangible possession.
You are wonderful. You are intelligent. The way you function and all that you can do. It is a miracle come true. Even though I often forget all that you do for me, you never stop. You just keep going.